Dear Diary,

kinggcarriee:

Sorry, I am aware this all sounds a bit cheesy. “Dear Diary,”, the “Carries Diaries”, the sex advice. One of my closets friends actually recommended that I start a blog though, so here I am. Instead of just telling my friends the thoroughly embarrassing and equally hilarious sexual experiences, might as well just write them down, and not just for them to see, but I guess the whole world. With my sexual experiences definitely came good and bad times, but the great thing about all experiences in life, you get to learn from them. So here I am, willing to offer up my knowledge of males and sex. So well, let’s see how this goes….
To be honest, my sex life is very short lived. I am in my early twenties, a college student, literally just figuring things out about myself and my body. But, I will admit, I like sex. No, not just like it, I think I have convinced myself that I might have a mild addiction, but for now, I am just going to blame that on hormones. I like sex. It is fun, a stress reliever, supposedly an anti-depressant, and exercise. I can never get enough of it! But while my sex life is relatively short lived, I am pretty sure I have already passed the national average for sexual partners for my age (or just a life-time really). Obviously, I have no problem with promiscuity. I have had the insults “slut” and “whore” thrown at me multiple times (though there are times that because of my kinks I do like these terms, but you will hear more about that from me later on as I continue to blog my experiences). But honestly,in my mind, it is not necessarily bad to be called those things. Having sex does not make me a bad person. I take care of myself, as people should when they have multiple sexual partners.
I am a stickler for always having my partner use a condom. I will literally not have sex with a partner until it is certain that they will be using a condom when they are having sex with me. Condoms prevent most sexually transmitted diseases and decreases my chances of getting pregnant. These are not things that I ever want or care to want at the moment. And because my main rule of always using condoms, it really depends if I want to tell my current partner or not, but I am also taking a oral contraceptive. While there have been studies that have showed that oral contraceptives cause depression, weight gain, blood clots, and enhanced/increased PMS symptoms, it is not everyone’s cup of tea. Oral contraceptives though, do their job as preventing me from getting pregnant.
So anyway, as I said, I take care of myself. This does not mean that I am against not having sex with someone that has a sexually transmitted disease or that I will completely flip out if I contract one. If I could potentially have a partner that has a sexually transmitted disease, and they are upfront and honest with me, I may possibly be willing to engage in sexual activity with them. I am not going to deny someone sex, the most natural action an organism can have, over something they may not perhaps be able to control. As long as they are trying to get treatment and we use protection, I do not see why the hell not? STDs/STIs are marvelous things. THEY ARE TREATABLE. I feel like most people are surprised when I say this. I will say, I am no expert on STDs/STIs, but I have read a lot on them, and lets just say, I think I might know some things. Most sexually transmitted diseases and infections are treatable, and can usually be gone or manageable within a couple weeks of treatment. Which is why I do not really freak out that much at the thought of contracting something. Also, if you look at the statistics on STDs/STIs, most people already have them. Herpes simplex is by far the most common. Most of the population already has the virus (70%-80% of Americans I believe). So if you are freaking out about getting a STD/STI, you probably already have one (surprise!).
Sorry, I am done with my teaching moment (I can try to be a bit of a know-it-all sometimes so I will try to contain myself). To continue with my brief sexual summary, I have had many partners, both good and bad. I would say younger and older too, but since I do happen to be in my early twenties, I feel like that would sound too much like statutory rape. Just to be clear, I have been with guys younger than me, but they were all about a year younger than me and well above the age of consent (in both states–you will hear about this later). I have also been with many different races and ethnicities, although I have not been with all. Most usually, I am sexually attracted to white, Hispanic, and middle eastern men. Occasionally I will see a beautiful black man (to which both me and my best friend will drool over, as she happens to mainly be attracted to black men) or a lovely Asian man, but it is usually out in public and not on the number of ‘dating’ apps I am on, which means I am too shy to of course approach them and talk to them.
This opens up the point of where I meet my sexual partners. Tinder! And while I have yet to meet anyone off of it yet, but Bumble! Both of these apps are a blessing and a curse. I am kind of a shy girl. I guess awkward could be a better word for it, but depending on the topic of conversation and my mood, I can either be really quiet or talkative. These apps allow me to be able to interact with guys without having to approach them in real life. Also, since I am a busy college student, the apps help me be more efficient with my time. I do not have to go out to bars and wait for some guy to buy me a drink and then take me home. At least on these apps, I can say a simple, “Hey cutie!” and quietly wait for rejection (though I most usually am messaging multiple guys at once, so one guy not responding is not going to break my spirits– or my heart). Also, messaging guys first is a great way to get to know them before actually meeting them. First meet-ups, hook-ups, dates (whatever you want to call them), are awkward. At least with messaging a bit before hand, a gal (or boy), can get a feel for the person’s attitude (mostly worried about level of creepiness). This does not mean meet up with everyone you message with or match with on these apps. I have definitely had my fair share of bad meet-ups (again, still to come). Safety is always important, and I always take into account mine when I go meet a match for the first (or more) time.
To wrap this all up for now, I wish to tell you my goals for all of this. In reality, I do not think I have any particular goals in mind. I want to tell my stories. I wish to spread my knowledge. I want to prevent some bad experiences that happened to me to happen to other people. And also possibly contribute to good experiences for anyone to have. I am not ashamed of my sexuality. I do not think that promiscuity is a bad thing. I do not think that my sexual activities call into mind my level of character. These are just things that I all think. Everyone is open to having their own opinions (though, I would appreciate if your reasoning could be explained. not necessarily so I can judge you, I just like understanding different point of views).
I will try to post a new entry either every week or every few days, we will see what happens. I am sure not that many people (or anyone) even read this far, but if you did, I thank you for doing so. I am happy to start this little makeshift journey and hope that y’all enjoy it.
-KC xoxo

March 23^®
28 R